To rest, you have to stop expending energy in certain ways. Not only do you have to physically stop performing certain activities, but you also have to release depleting mental loads from your mind.
Fallowing is a farming practice whereby a field is left unsown for a period of time to let the soil recover its nutrients and restore its moisture content. This recovery time later allows that same soil to grow a larger and better crop when next planted. The “rest” time granted to grievers by friends, family,Continue reading “Monday Meditation: Lie Fallow”
December used to be an exciting month, a tiring one, but one filled with the energy of holiday electricity. The final week of the year used to be a time when I would organize myself and my professional and personal calendar. I would renew commitments to my goals and redraw the lines of my lifeContinue reading “Monday Meditation: A New Year Rest”
A holiday shrouded in grief can range from tiring to exhausting.
This will be a difficult week for many. Supporters may encourage grievers to perk up because it is a holiday week, to be “merry and bright.” There is little merriment or brightness when we miss someone. Celebrations accentuate the absence of loved ones in the sharpest way.
The holiday season from Thanksgiving through the new year is fraught with emotional turmoil–sometimes ripples, sometimes earthquakes. This season seems to be one of the times when grievers are constantly beaten up with reminders of what we are grieving. Ads and commercials reminding us to buy gifts for everyone on our lists and have aContinue reading “Monday Medtation: Every Day, Grief”
A pitfall of life is getting caught up in the race to be more, be ahead of the game, be pushing for the next whatever, be comparing ourselves to the past…essentially occupying any moment other than the present.
The work of healing grief can be like growing a garden. Plants and flowers need water, sunlight, and plenty of weeding to grow and thrive.
November 2 is All Souls Day or the Commemoration of the Faithful Departed. The Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos), recognized primarily (though not only) in Mexico where it originated, is celebrated October 31 through November 2. November 2 is a day on which Catholics pray that their deceased loved ones and allContinue reading “All Souls Day Meditation”
One aspect that may be missing from the grief experience is a feeling of being valued as a person who is grieving. Outsiders (society in general and grief supporters in particular) may forget that part of their job is to make grievers feel worthy. Most often any misstep or differences or miscommunication is treated asContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Value & Self-Worth”
We have been socially conditioned to see grief as something destructive and, by consequence, something to be feared. In seeing only destruction in loss, we are prevented from seeing in grief the power of creation. Destruction and creation are not opposing forces, they are the flip sides of the same coin.
Ed Sheeran wrote “Supermarket Flowers” following the death of his grandmother. The song, written in the first person, reflects the perspective of Sheeran’s mother. I’ve posted his live version of the song below.
Two of the greatest fallacies regarding brokenness, I think, are: No one gets broken/hurt by the world–life is always perfect and fair If we admit to being broken, we are weak–there is nothing to be gained from being broken or healing from that brokenness. Both are bull.
There really isn’t anything funny about grieving…at first glance. In truth, however, life is absurd in all contexts, including loss.
We often think of love as something that fulfills us. We love friends, we love family, we love children, we love significant others, we love ourselves. We can even love inanimate objects or experiences. Whatever it is that we love, we assume that love will give us warmth and support for the rest of ourContinue reading “Meditation Monday: The Hole of Love”