Grief isn’t just one experience that hangs out for a bit and then disappears. Grief is a very long road broken up into shorter segments that piggyback onto one another for the remainder of a griever’s life. Outsiders often mistake grief for a one-and-done experience: someone dies, you get sad, you deal with it, you’reContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Persevering”
Author Archives: ancarroll
Monday Meditation: Step On In
Grief is huge. It’s an ocean. If we stopped to contemplate what was living in every nook and cranny of the ocean and what could happen to us if we went to varying depths, we might become paralyzed.
March 5 marked eight years since my mother’s death. This was a rough year. Year eight was one of the worst emotional years I’ve had in five years. And it was the year I succeeded in doing something my mother spoke of doing but could not. This was a year of shedding more of theContinue reading “8 Years…”
Monday Meditation: Fall Now, Stand Later
One of the most significant misunderstandings concerning grief is the belief that grief is a one-and-done experience: loss happens, you get sad, you gradually become happier, and then, one day, grief is gone for good. The belief is helpful to grief supporters, who sometimes act as though our grief is a drag. The sooner weContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Fall Now, Stand Later”
Monday Mediation: Rest Slowly
Rest plus quiet does not equal stopping. It means going slowly. In the act of lying fallow, the ground continues to engage life as the soil replenishes its nutrients and prepares itself for planting again. The action is happening below the surface, out of sight. Just because it is hidden from view does not meanContinue reading “Monday Mediation: Rest Slowly”
Lasts Things: Valentine’s Day
I have never been a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. The candy, yes! But not so much the holiday. I got caught up in the hoopla as a teen, but even then enjoyed the day as more of a silly holiday better spent with friends. My parents and I have exchanged cards and little funContinue reading “Lasts Things: Valentine’s Day”
Monday Meditation: Is Loved and Lost Better?
Is it? Ask a griever in the pain of missing a loved one any day of the year whether it truly is better to have loved and lost. Some may say that the pain they experience is too overwhelming that it makes them wish they never loved in the first place.
Monday Meditation: Quiet Reconnection
Learning to sit in quiet is a skill that takes time to develop. The noise outside is loud and often penetrates deep inside us, making it hard to shut off. The noise can obscure our true desires because it tells us that what we want cannot or should not be. No matter how long itContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Quiet Reconnection”
My “Dry” January 2023
Typically, Dry January refers to a month of abstention from alcohol (and maybe whatever else was overabundant in the pre-new year holiday season). After an emotionally exhausting and panic-attack-filled 2022, I decided to do my own grief version of a “Dry January” in 2023. 2022 was awful, and I wanted to begin a practice ofContinue reading “My “Dry” January 2023″
Monday Meditation: Quiet Matters
Quiet is more than just the absence of noise. Quiet is a state of being that helps suppress distracting intrusions so that the right sounds can become loud and clear.
Monday Meditation: To Rest, Surrender.
To rest, you have to stop expending energy in certain ways. Not only do you have to physically stop performing certain activities, but you also have to release depleting mental loads from your mind.
Monday Meditation: Lie Fallow
Fallowing is a farming practice whereby a field is left unsown for a period of time to let the soil recover its nutrients and restore its moisture content. This recovery time later allows that same soil to grow a larger and better crop when next planted. The “rest” time granted to grievers by friends, family,Continue reading “Monday Meditation: Lie Fallow”
Monday Meditation: A New Year Rest
December used to be an exciting month, a tiring one, but one filled with the energy of holiday electricity. The final week of the year used to be a time when I would organize myself and my professional and personal calendar. I would renew commitments to my goals and redraw the lines of my lifeContinue reading “Monday Meditation: A New Year Rest”
A Year For Rest
I am so happy to see 2022 go…it was a difficult year full of exhausting experiences and habits that I would not like to continue…ever. The year was full of family health traumas (I do know that for the people directly affected by these health issues, the year was far more stressful and exhausting) whichContinue reading “A Year For Rest”
Today is the seventh anniversary of my mother’s death.