Today is the seventh anniversary of my mother’s death.
“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a beautiful crop.” -Ovid A holiday shrouded in grief can range from tiring to exhausting.
This will be a difficult week for many. Supporters may encourage grievers to perk up because it is a holiday week, to be “merry and bright.” There is little merriment or brightness when we miss someone. Celebrations accentuate the absence of loved ones in the sharpest way.
My gift list is a bit late, I realize. In truth, because grief is 24/7/365, when you give a gift to a griever or when you (as a griever) buy yourself a self-care present is somewhat irrelevant. This guide is for both grief supporters and grievers.
The holiday season from Thanksgiving through the new year is fraught with emotional turmoil–sometimes ripples, sometimes earthquakes. This season seems to be one of the times when grievers are constantly beaten up with reminders of what we are grieving. Ads and commercials reminding us to buy gifts for everyone on our lists and have aContinue reading “Monday Medtation: Every Day, Grief”
A pitfall of life is getting caught up in the race to be more, be ahead of the game, be pushing for the next whatever, be comparing ourselves to the past…essentially occupying any moment other than the present.
The work of healing grief can be like growing a garden. Plants and flowers need water, sunlight, and plenty of weeding to grow and thrive.
November 2 is All Souls Day or the Commemoration of the Faithful Departed. The Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos), recognized primarily (though not only) in Mexico where it originated, is celebrated October 31 through November 2. November 2 is a day on which Catholics pray that their deceased loved ones and allContinue reading “All Souls Day Meditation”
One aspect that may be missing from the grief experience is a feeling of being valued as a person who is grieving. Outsiders (society in general and grief supporters in particular) may forget that part of their job is to make grievers feel worthy. Most often any misstep or differences or miscommunication is treated asContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Value & Self-Worth”
We have been socially conditioned to see grief as something destructive and, by consequence, something to be feared. In seeing only destruction in loss, we are prevented from seeing in grief the power of creation. Destruction and creation are not opposing forces, they are the flip sides of the same coin.
Ed Sheeran wrote “Supermarket Flowers” following the death of his grandmother. The song, written in the first person, reflects the perspective of Sheeran’s mother. I’ve posted his live version of the song below.
Grievers are often encouraged to “move forward” after a loss. Such societal pressure may leave grievers feeling stalled and stuck if they don’t “move forward” quickly and surely. The result can be a sense of hopelessness, depression, or anxiety that takes root in the griever’s life.
Two of the greatest fallacies regarding brokenness, I think, are: No one gets broken/hurt by the world–life is always perfect and fair If we admit to being broken, we are weak–there is nothing to be gained from being broken or healing from that brokenness. Both are bull.
There really isn’t anything funny about grieving…at first glance. In truth, however, life is absurd in all contexts, including loss.
We often think of love as something that fulfills us. We love friends, we love family, we love children, we love significant others, we love ourselves. We can even love inanimate objects or experiences. Whatever it is that we love, we assume that love will give us warmth and support for the rest of ourContinue reading “Meditation Monday: The Hole of Love”