One aspect that may be missing from the grief experience is a feeling of being valued as a person who is grieving. Outsiders (society in general and grief supporters in particular) may forget that part of their job is to make grievers feel worthy. Most often any misstep or differences or miscommunication is treated asContinue reading “Monday Meditation:”
We have been socially conditioned to see grief as something destructive and, by consequence, something to be feared. In seeing only destruction in loss, we are prevented from seeing in grief the power of creation. Destruction and creation are not opposing forces, they are the flip sides of the same coin.
Ed Sheeran wrote “Supermarket Flowers” following the death of his grandmother. The song, written in the first person, reflects the perspective of Sheeran’s mother. I’ve posted his live version of the song below.
Grievers are often encouraged to “move forward” after a loss. Such societal pressure may leave grievers feeling stalled and stuck if they don’t “move forward” quickly and surely. The result can be a sense of hopelessness, depression, or anxiety that takes root in the griever’s life.
Two of the greatest fallacies regarding brokenness, I think, are: No one gets broken/hurt by the world–life is always perfect and fair If we admit to being broken, we are weak–there is nothing to be gained from being broken or healing from that brokenness. Both are bull.
There really isn’t anything funny about grieving…at first glance. In truth, however, life is absurd in all contexts, including loss.
We often think of love as something that fulfills us. We love friends, we love family, we love children, we love significant others, we love ourselves. We can even love inanimate objects or experiences. Whatever it is that we love, we assume that love will give us warmth and support for the rest of ourContinue reading “Meditation Monday: The Hole of Love”
No one tells you that grief how much work grief is going to entail.
Grief is overwhelming, and grievers may frequently turn to their grief supporters for help getting through the initial trauma of loss and then healing. Some grief supporters are really great at being there for the griever in their lives, others aren’t as helpful. While being surrounded by amazing support is important for grievers, even theContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Give me an “I””
What have I reflected on as I come to end of year six? This is my grief six years in.
Grief throws many things at you in fast succession; it is overwhelming. Grievers may barely get a break between one thing and the next. Sometimes it’s hard to breathe; reality can feel too real at times and it can be tempting to avoid it or numb ourselves to forget about it.
It is easy to become angry and bitter after losing a loved one. Finding or feeling joy and hope seems impossible. We may even feel that the loss is somehow a punishment, an action taken by the universe to ruin our lives. We may even lash out at others, finding long-lasting comfort in the angerContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Open With Loving-Kindness”
The following series of posts outlines the traditional “stages” of grief as presented in Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s On Death and Dying (1969). The stages are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. This post addresses anger. Please see my post called “The Five Stages of Grief” for a brief discussion of the five-stages. Anger is perhaps theContinue reading “Grief 101: Anger”
When we lose a loved one, we often lose the person who most believed in us, the person we leaned on when we needed to rest and gather ourselves. Once gone, we lack the support and encouragement that gives us strength when we need it. Being loved provides us strength.
Grief is a response to love lost and grief is the expression of deep love itself. As such, grievers must honor the love within grief, and listen to what it shares about their life, their memories, and their future.