The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living. -Marcus Tullius Cicero When a loved one dies, there is a belief that we cannot talk about that person or day-dream about what s/he would think about something in our present reality. By not acknowledging the dead, moving through grief becomes harder… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Memories Bring the Dead to Life
In short: NO. Grief is not the same for everyone who goes through it. Grief is unique to every Griever. There is no predictable pattern that grief follows from person to person. Each Grievers' loss is different because each person going through loss is different: they have different relationships with the people they lose, they… Continue reading GRIEF 101: Is Grief the Same for Everyone?
Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle. -Napoleon Hill Grief is a constant struggle with emotions, life circumstances, unhelpful Grief Supporters, difficult family members, and missing the loved one. The effort required to slog your way through this period is enormous. Along the way, you will uncover strength you were unaware of… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Move through Struggle
Mother’s Day is this weekend. I keep forgetting about it. Not having a mother will do that to you. My email is full of helpful “reminders” of the day from internet companies I have bought gifts through over the past year. Even before my mother died I always wondered about people who had terrible relationships… Continue reading Mother’s Day 2018
When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future. -Bernard Meltzer The grief period is fraught with tension, Grief Supporters behave badly, Grievers hold anger, very few people understand what Grievers are dealing with in their daily lives, etc. To come out of this experience as a stronger… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Forgive for the Future
Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides. -Lao Tzu As a society, we seem to treat death as something outside the norm, something unexpected, something bad. Birth and Death are bookends to Life. While death may surprise us, when it comes early or unexpectedly, death itself is something of… Continue reading Monday Motivation: The Line of Life and Death
No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. -The Buddha If you are looking for someone to save you during your grief freefall, look in the mirror. Others will try to mold you into the person they want you to be…and that isn’t going… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Save Yourself
Silence is the source of great strength. -Lao Tzu Step away from the moments in which there are too many voices telling you what to do, how to feel, what to decide, and how to act. Take time to sit in silence every day so that you can meet these demands with a… Continue reading Monday Meditation: The Sound of Silence
In my post The Right to Fall Apart, I wrote about the Griever’s right to express emotions when needed. The trouble with falling apart is that we have to attend to our lives at the same time. We have jobs, school, and/or families to deal with. Real Life intrudes on our need to crumble; therefore,… Continue reading How to Fall Apart
No matter how prepared you think you are for the death of a loved one, it still comes as a shock and it still hurts very deeply. -Billy Graham Death is conceptual until it becomes a reality for us. We can imagine what it must be like, but then we forget to include… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Death Hurts
Get on the bike and keep pedaling.
On continuing special traditions after the death of a loved one.
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. -The Buddha Let go of anger you have at your situation or at people in your life. Anger affects the person who feels it, not the person against who anger is felt. Don't waste your energy letting negative emotions rule… Continue reading Meditation Monday: Let Anger Go
"I am worried about her," my aunt said from behind me. "She cried at the hospital when Eileen died. She wouldn't let her go." I sat on the kneeler next to my mother's casket before and after her wake rather than sitting in a chair across the room from her. I wanted to sit next… Continue reading The Right to Fall Apart
Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness. -Euripides True friends will stand beside you as you struggle through pain. True friends will be there to rest against when you are exhausted, to tell you they love you when you are distraught, and to listen to you (even if you have nothing… Continue reading Meditation Monday: True Friends