It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. -Confucius There is no time limit for when grief should be completed. You will not be able to plot grief’s endpoint on a calendar. Grief is not a race with a clearly delineated finish. Nor is grief a road trip… Continue reading Monday Motivation: No Matter the Pace, Move Forward
Today is my mother’s 71st birthday. My mother's birthday meant a great deal to her. Given her birthday’s proximity to July 4, her birthday became intertwined with the holiday festivities. My mother told me that, as a child, she believed Independence Day celebrations, the cookouts, and fireworks, were all for her birthday. "Yes," she once… Continue reading Happy 71st!
Part of the healing process is sharing with other people who care. -Jerry Cantrell There is a preconception that people should keep their suffering to themselves. Sad or unhappy conversations should not take place. We can only publically project strength, happiness, and confidence. This is nonsense. Healing requires sharing our pain with others, and in… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Sharing Brings Healing
Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life. -Anne Roiphe The first part of grief is the easy part, believe it or not. The second part can be more challenging. Don’t be afraid to pursue the dreams you had before or to try new things. Don’t allow… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Grief’s one-two punch
The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. -Hubert H. Humphrey Never underestimate how wonderful a good friendship can be during grief. The person who lets you vent because you just have to get things out, or who laughs at the absurd things you find in your lost one’s belongings, or who just shares all… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Friends + Love
The words of kindness are more healing to a drooping heart than balm or honey. -Sarah Fielding “I am sorry you have to go through this.” “I love you.” “I am here to listen.” “You are so courageous.” Kindness goes a long way in the grief process. For Grief Supporters, kindness can mean the difference… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Kindness Heals
The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living. -Marcus Tullius Cicero When a loved one dies, there is a belief that we cannot talk about that person or day-dream about what s/he would think about something in our present reality. By not acknowledging the dead, moving through grief becomes harder… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Memories Bring the Dead to Life
In short: NO. Grief is not the same for everyone who goes through it. Grief is unique to every Griever. There is no predictable pattern that grief follows from person to person. Each Grievers' loss is different because each person going through loss is different: they have different relationships with the people they lose, they… Continue reading GRIEF 101: Is Grief the Same for Everyone?
Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle. -Napoleon Hill Grief is a constant struggle with emotions, life circumstances, unhelpful Grief Supporters, difficult family members, and missing the loved one. The effort required to slog your way through this period is enormous. Along the way, you will uncover strength you were unaware of… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Move through Struggle
Mother’s Day is this weekend. I keep forgetting about it. Not having a mother will do that to you. My email is full of helpful “reminders” of the day from internet companies I have bought gifts through over the past year. Even before my mother died I always wondered about people who had terrible relationships… Continue reading Mother’s Day 2018
When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future. -Bernard Meltzer The grief period is fraught with tension, Grief Supporters behave badly, Grievers hold anger, very few people understand what Grievers are dealing with in their daily lives, etc. To come out of this experience as a stronger… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Forgive for the Future
Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides. -Lao Tzu As a society, we seem to treat death as something outside the norm, something unexpected, something bad. Birth and Death are bookends to Life. While death may surprise us, when it comes early or unexpectedly, death itself is something of… Continue reading Monday Motivation: The Line of Life and Death
No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. -The Buddha If you are looking for someone to save you during your grief freefall, look in the mirror. Others will try to mold you into the person they want you to be…and that isn’t going… Continue reading Monday Meditation: Save Yourself
Silence is the source of great strength. -Lao Tzu Step away from the moments in which there are too many voices telling you what to do, how to feel, what to decide, and how to act. Take time to sit in silence every day so that you can meet these demands with a… Continue reading Monday Meditation: The Sound of Silence
In my post The Right to Fall Apart, I wrote about the Griever’s right to express emotions when needed. The trouble with falling apart is that we have to attend to our lives at the same time. We have jobs, school, and/or families to deal with. Real Life intrudes on our need to crumble; therefore,… Continue reading How to Fall Apart