Eleven years. Here we go again… After watching Stranger Things, I almost feel like eleven years should hold something magical and otherworldly, lifesaving, sacrificing, or revelatory. What does eleven years feel like? Fresh. Still raw. Still hurt. Still missing a chunk of myself. I find myself thinking “I need to call my mom” more andContinueContinue reading “Year 11: Reclaiming My Strength”
Category Archives: My Story
Year 10: Something Like Peace…
I am tired. Like, dragging myself around tired. A deep tired, down to my bones tired. Muscle ache tired. Wearing weights chained to my ankles and wrists tired. And then I remember…this is the week. It’s been ten years and my body still knows before I do. It still takes my brain a few daysContinueContinue reading “Year 10: Something Like Peace…”
Year 9: New Places & Picking Up Loose Ends
This ninth year was one of big changes. My family and I moved across the country, from one coast to the other. It was spurred by a desire for more adventure and to escape the harsh and isolating New England winter. Employment opportunities soon followed, and it was like the move was meant to be.ContinueContinue reading “Year 9: New Places & Picking Up Loose Ends”
8 Years…
March 5 marked eight years since my mother’s death. This was a rough year. Year eight was one of the worst emotional years I’ve had in five years. And it was the year I succeeded in doing something my mother spoke of doing but could not. This was a year of shedding more of theContinueContinue reading “8 Years…”
My “Dry” January 2023
Typically, Dry January refers to a month of abstention from alcohol (and maybe whatever else was overabundant in the pre-new year holiday season). After an emotionally exhausting and panic-attack-filled 2022, I decided to do my own grief version of a “Dry January” in 2023. 2022 was awful, and I wanted to begin a practice ofContinueContinue reading “My “Dry” January 2023″
Christmas 2020
2020 has been messy. That’s being kind. Christmas is right around the corner and the messiness continues as we move to celebrate in ways that deviate from years past. Traditions have been paused for a year and we’ve had to become creative about how we celebrate at a distance. Christmas 2020 Last year, we didn’tContinueContinue reading “Christmas 2020”
Book Review: The Essential Wayne Dyer Collection (Wayne Dyer)
The day of my mother’s surgery, I went to a bookstore. I was seeking a book that could help her reframe how she viewed life. She hadn’t been taking great care of herself for a few years. She had stopped exercising (which she was never very enthusiastic about), she stopped eating as well as sheContinueContinue reading “Book Review: The Essential Wayne Dyer Collection (Wayne Dyer)”
Christmastime 2019
A couple of weeks ago, I was walking through Trader Joe’s doing the weekly shop. My baby girl was sleepily bouncing along in her Baby Bjorn as I strolled the aisles. It was just after Thanksgiving and about two weeks before Christmas. Holiday items were out for sale and I was just beginning to thinkContinueContinue reading “Christmastime 2019”
I’M BACK! But where have I been…?
I’ve been away for a bit…but I’m back!
Mother’s Day 2018
Mother’s Day is this weekend. I keep forgetting about it. Not having a mother will do that to you. My email is full of helpful “reminders” of the day from internet companies I have bought gifts through over the past year. Even before my mother died I always wondered about people who had terrible relationshipsContinueContinue reading “Mother’s Day 2018”
New Year, New Blog
I have been away for a while. My last post from three years ago probably gives you a clue as to why. My mother died on March 5, 2015. When my mother died in 2015, I was an underemployed, adjunct professor living with my parents in Richmond, VA commuting to Washington DC. Now, in 2018,ContinueContinue reading “New Year, New Blog”
Mom
Today’s is Mother’s Day…and I just lost my mother. There is little to say, no Top 10 lists of what mom taught me that adequately capture everything I learned from her during our time together. Instead, I’d like to share the words I wrote for her funeral service, words that celebrated our mother-daughter time togetherContinueContinue reading “Mom”