My daughter takes Spanish at her Catholic school. Her Spanish instructor does a short unit on Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) in October. My daughter and I have talked about the Day of the Dead for a while and, because we talk about our dead family members quite a bit, she askedContinue reading "Making a Simple Dia De Los Muertos Ofrenda"
Year 11: Reclaiming My Strength
Eleven years. Here we go again… After watching Stranger Things, I almost feel like eleven years should hold something magical and otherworldly, lifesaving, sacrificing, or revelatory. What does eleven years feel like? Fresh. Still raw. Still hurt. Still missing a chunk of myself. I find myself thinking "I need to call my mom" more andContinue reading "Year 11: Reclaiming My Strength"
Year 10: Something Like Peace…
I am tired. Like, dragging myself around tired. A deep tired, down to my bones tired. Muscle ache tired. Wearing weights chained to my ankles and wrists tired. And then I remember…this is the week. It's been ten years and my body still knows before I do. It still takes my brain a few daysContinue reading "Year 10: Something Like Peace…"
Birthday Blahs
It's my birthday month, and my birthday daughter's birthday month. My mom has been gone for over nine years, and I still hate this month. I don't like my birthday anymore. This grief calendar thing is so real. Every September, I feel it, sometimes more acutely than others. I felt bad a few days ago,Continue reading "Birthday Blahs"
Monday Meditation: Within the Grief Winter, There Lives a Summer
In the midst of winter's grief, there are signs of spring. Though it's a struggle, we're reminded of the "invincible summer" within us. Winter prepares us for the bold and beautiful summers ahead. As the season wanes, it's time to contemplate and nurture the seeds of invincibility within ourselves for the coming summer.
Year 9: New Places & Picking Up Loose Ends
This ninth year was one of big changes. My family and I moved across the country, from one coast to the other. It was spurred by a desire for more adventure and to escape the harsh and isolating New England winter. Employment opportunities soon followed, and it was like the move was meant to be.Continue reading "Year 9: New Places & Picking Up Loose Ends"
Monday Meditation: Sunny Love
"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." -David Viscott My child loves to watch Bluey, a for-all-ages cartoon from Australia about a heeler dog named Bluey and her family (mum, dad, and younger sister, Bingo). One episode, "Sleepytime," deals with the inevitable challenges of sleeping through the night. AtContinue reading "Monday Meditation: Sunny Love"
Monday Meditation: DO NO HARM
"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." -The Dalai Lama I can't suggest a meditation more apt than this right now, given the events in the United States over the past week. How can you help people? Can you donate to organizations once, a few times,Continue reading "Monday Meditation: DO NO HARM"
Monday Meditation: Persevering
"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other." -Walter Elliot Grief isn't just one experience that hangs out for a bit and then disappears. Grief is a very long road broken up into shorter segments that piggyback onto one another for the remainder of a griever's life. OutsidersContinue reading "Monday Meditation: Persevering"
Monday Meditation: Step On In
"You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water." -Rabindranath Tagore Grief is huge. It's an ocean. If we stopped to contemplate what was living in every nook and cranny of the ocean and what could happen to us if we went to varying depths, we might become paralyzed. Grief hasContinue reading "Monday Meditation: Step On In"
8 Years…
March 5 marked eight years since my mother's death. This was a rough year. Year eight was one of the worst emotional years I've had in five years. And it was the year I succeeded in doing something my mother spoke of doing but could not. This was a year of shedding more of theContinue reading "8 Years…"
Monday Meditation: Fall Now, Stand Later
"If you fell down yesterday, Stand up today." -H.G. Wells One of the most significant misunderstandings concerning grief is the belief that grief is a one-and-done experience: loss happens, you get sad, you gradually become happier, and then, one day, grief is gone for good. The belief is helpful to grief supporters, who sometimes actContinue reading "Monday Meditation: Fall Now, Stand Later"
Monday Mediation: Rest Slowly
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." -Confucius Rest plus quiet does not equal stopping. It means going slowly. In the act of lying fallow, the ground continues to engage life as the soil replenishes its nutrients and prepares itself for planting again. The action is happeningContinue reading "Monday Mediation: Rest Slowly"
Lasts Things: Valentine’s Day
I have never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day. The candy, yes! But not so much the holiday. I got caught up in the hoopla as a teen, but even then enjoyed the day as more of a silly holiday better spent with friends. My parents and I have exchanged cards and little funContinue reading "Lasts Things: Valentine’s Day"
Monday Meditation: Is Loved and Lost Better?
" 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." -Alfred Lord Tennyson Is it? Ask a griever in the pain of missing a loved one any day of the year whether it truly is better to have loved and lost. Some may say that the pain they experience isContinue reading "Monday Meditation: Is Loved and Lost Better?"