Monday Meditation: Quiet Reconnection

“Learn to be quiet enough to hear the genuine within yourself so that you can hear it in others.”

-Marian Wright Edelman

Learning to sit in quiet is a skill that takes time to develop. The noise outside is loud and often penetrates deep inside us, making it hard to shut off. The noise can obscure our true desires because it tells us that what we want cannot or should not be. No matter how long it takes to shut out intrusive noise, the results are worth the effort and practice.

What we find in quiet is our chance to reconnect with who we are, who we want to be, and the priorities we feel most strongly about. As our world is upended by grief, this self-communication is significant for developing our post-loss life.

In quiet, we can freely display our authentic selves to grief. We can share our fears and our desires. If we listen deeply, we can hear how our post-loss lives might take shape according to our emerging desires. In those moments, alongside our grief, we can learn how to step into a world that is foreign to us.

Our healthy path toward healing, our desires, and our new priorities don’t yell; they whisper. We can only meet those stirrings in our quiet moments. Those gentle whispers can’t be heard over the unsolicited advice or unnecessary judgment from outsiders, who don’t know, and often don’t care about, what we truly want in our post-loss lives.

What we learn in quiet helps us sift out the true supporters from those more interested in pushing their own agenda into our grieving practices. We can better identify “advice” that is bad for us, and that goes against the healthy healing practices with have chosen for our post-loss life. Quiet lets us find people who cheer our new priorities, our grieving style, and our new experience of the world. In quiet, the loudest voices are pushed aside so the softer, genuinely supportive ones can distinguish themselves.

Quiet is a sacred aspect of healing after loss. Learn to find quiet every day so that you can connect with your authentic desires as you rebuild your post-loss life.

Photo by NEOSiAM 2021 on

Published by ancarroll

Alexandra N. Carroll is an author, grief advocate, crafter, mother, and partner. She writes on grief and self-care from her home in Vermont. Her forthcoming book concerns how to untangle life-after-loss through the creation of a strong self-care plan.

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