It is easy to become angry and bitter after losing a loved one. Finding or feeling joy and hope seems impossible. We may even feel that the loss is somehow a punishment, an action taken by the universe to ruin our lives. We may even lash out at others, finding long-lasting comfort in the angerContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Open With Loving-Kindness”
When we lose a loved one, we often lose the person who most believed in us, the person we leaned on when we needed to rest and gather ourselves. Once gone, we lack the support and encouragement that gives us strength when we need it. Being loved provides us strength.
Grief is a response to love lost and grief is the expression of deep love itself. As such, grievers must honor the love within grief, and listen to what it shares about their life, their memories, and their future.
If you’ve ever moved, you know how stressful it is to be surrounded by a mess that you have to put away. But, before you can put anything away, you have to figure out where everything is going to go, and to do that, first you have to organize the rooms and furniture. Then, afterContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Sorting the Mess”
At first, grief days may be a whirlwind of chaos and disbelief. Then they may settle into long stretches populated with questions like ,”What now?” Nights seem longer at first, endless even. One or the other may seem more daunting as you wonder how to get through another day or night without your loved one.Continue reading “Monday Meditation: Tomorrow was, Today is…”
Social opinions on grief are everywhere. They invade a grievers space from day one and snowball over time thanks to well-meaning (and not so well-meaning) grief supporters who aim to “fix” us and help us “get over” loss.
January 1 may be a fresh start for the calendar, but grief-related stress and issues don’t get the same consideration. Grief rolls over from year to year, and whatever has accumulated over time continues to expand. This produces stress and perhaps a desire to avoid whatever lingering issues are present in an effort to “startContinue reading “Monday Meditation: A Chance to Renew”
This is the last week of the 2020. What a year it has been.
Holidays may be an awkward time for grievers. First holidays, especially, can be tough. There is no etiquette for how to handle the first year of special events without a loved one. Do we relish in memories of past holidays? Do we share memories with others? Will memories bring sadness? If I am happy, amContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Season with Joy”
The Christmas season is upon us. It is a bittersweet time for grievers. First Christmases without a loved one are difficult, of course. But it’s the second, third, and rest of the Christmases without your loved one that may be the saddest. The first year, you have a focus: making it through. The next, youContinue reading “Monday Meditation: The Lonely Holiday”
One of the unexpected challenges of grieving (for me at least) was dealing with grief supporters who, instead of supporting my path, used their time to put down my choices and my grieving process. I tried to take the high road–but I didn’t always succeed. Exhaustion, the need to be understood, and shear shock gotContinue reading “Monday Meditation: The High Road”
Thanksgiving 2020 is bittersweet. We are isolating. Many of us have lost loved ones. Many may be spending the day alone because of the pandemic. Many Americans are out of work or have lost family businesses because of COVID shutdowns. Many families are struggling to put food on their tables. We are an intensely divided nationContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Thanksgiving”
Nothing tests us like distress. The same distress we experience also tests those around us. Distress, struggle, trauma, death–they challenge our character, our honesty, our morality, our honor. Grievers must make difficult decisions and choose from options they don’t always like in order to make the best of the situation at hand. Sometimes those decisionsContinue reading “Monday Mediation: A Test of Integrity”
In grief, especially in the early days, a chaotic whirlwind swoops in and creates emotional confusion and mental anguish. Though it fades over (a lot of) time, this whirlwind can return without warning, bringing its wake anxiety, stress, negativity, etc.
It’s difficult to extend compassion to, or forgive, someone who has hurt you or people you know. Grieving should be an experience in which there is an abundance of compassion, love, understanding, and acceptance. However, because of our society’s “get over it” attitude and the tendency to believe vulnerability is a weakness, grieving can becomeContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Transform Through Compassion”