Monday Meditation: Fight or Flight

“In boxing, they say it’s the punch you don’t see coming that knocks you out. In the wider world, the reality we ignore or deny is the one that weakens our most impassioned efforts toward improvement.”

-Katherine Dunn

Grief throws many things at you in fast succession; it is overwhelming. Grievers may barely get a break between one thing and the next. Sometimes it’s hard to breathe; reality can feel too real at times and it can be tempting to avoid it or numb ourselves to forget about it.

No matter how hard we want to heal or tell ourselves that we are healing, avoidance, denial, and/or pushing ourselves too much will interfere and derail us from our healing path. The painful, bittersweet, difficult, and raw experiences that grief brings are there for a reason: to encourage growth and ensure acceptance of post-life loss realities.

Whatever we strive to keep out will find a way in. Whatever we want to push aside will find a way to make us sit now and listen.

Whether we like it or not, we must meet grief head on. We must fight our urge to flee and hide and numb ourselves and avoid negative emotions or experiences. We must accept the good, bad, and ugliness that grief has to offer. We must also remember that grief serves a purpose, a transformational purpose that moves us from one life to the next, from pre-loss to post-loss.

If we seek healing, we have to meet grief where it stands. Rather than run from the messiness and pain we must embrace it. We must be present with our grief, accept it’s reality in our daily life, and listen closely as it steers us in directions we may not like or understand. One way or another grief makes us face it; let that be a choice you make rather than one forced upon you.

How can you be present with your grief today?

Photo by Ivan Samkov on

Published by ancarroll

Alexandra N. Carroll is an author, grief advocate, crafter, mother, and partner. She writes on grief and self-care from her home in Vermont. Her forthcoming book concerns how to untangle life-after-loss through the creation of a strong self-care plan.

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