If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.
-Lao Tzu
Imagine life as a highway. You’re driving along, and you realize that you are going in a direction you hadn’t intended or the way you thought you wanted to go is turning into something you had not expected. Your surroundings tell you a lot about where you are heading. Instinctively you know whether this is where you want to be or not. Thankfully, highways have exits. To reverse your course, get off at the next exit and head in the opposite direction.
In grief, it may be hard to examine your surroundings—you’re distracted by people, emotions, responsibilities, etc. Make the effort. Before you know it, you could be headed into disputes that could have been avoided, a lifestyle you don’t want, debt, dysfunction, etc. None of this is inevitable because you have the ability to change direction. Outside supporters may encourage you to stay on a track because it is better for them, but it not be good for you. Regardless of whether the motivation to follow a path is external or internal, if you don’t like where you’re headed or you know that you’re heading down a destructive path, get off at the next exit and start your journey back toward where you do want to go.
Self-correction is as much a part of grief as self-awareness. Don’t fear redirection. It may help you get to where you want to go.
A.N.Carroll 