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When we are no longer able to change a situation—we are challenged to change ourselves. -Viktor Frankl In the wake of a loss, we may pray that someone we know has the ability to raise the dead. Unfortunately, no one does and death remains an unchangeable situation. Frankl, who spent time in Auschwitz, knows muchContinue reading “Monday Meditation: A Challenge to Change”
The point of power is always in the present moment. -Louise L. Hay In grief, we may tend to worry about what happened in the past or what awaits us in the future. By doing so, we worry about things we can no longer change and things that we cannot foresee. The present moment, theContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Be Present”
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. -Confucius Grief is far from a smooth path. Just when we think we have mastered some emotion or aspect of grief, something comes along and knocks us off kilter. Maybe we react badly, maybe we feel like we failed. GriefContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Rise Up.”
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. -Mahatma Gandhi It takes a lot to forgive someone. Many people refuse to forgive because they may feel that forgiving means forgetting, and letting someone else off the hook for bad behavior. It is quite the opposite. Forgiving requires the ability to actContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Strength in Forgiveness”
For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. -Ralph Waldo Emerson Grief can bring all sorts of anger: at friends and family, at yourself, at your lost loved one, at no one in particular. While anger is part of the grief process, anger can also become an obstacleContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Chose Peace of Mind”
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. -Confucius There is no time limit for when grief should be completed. You will not be able to plot grief’s endpoint on a calendar. Grief is not a race with a clearly delineated finish. Nor is grief a road tripContinue reading “Monday Motivation: No Matter the Pace, Move Forward”
Today is my mother’s 71st birthday. My mother’s birthday meant a great deal to her. Given her birthday’s proximity to July 4, her birthday became intertwined with the holiday festivities. My mother told me that, as a child, she believed Independence Day celebrations, the cookouts, and fireworks, were all for her birthday. “Yes,” she onceContinue reading “Happy 71st!”
Part of the healing process is sharing with other people who care. -Jerry Cantrell There is a preconception that people should keep their suffering to themselves. Sad or unhappy conversations should not take place. We can only publically project strength, happiness, and confidence. This is nonsense. Healing requires sharing our pain with others, and inContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Sharing Brings Healing”
Grief is in two parts. The first is loss. The second is the remaking of life. -Anne Roiphe The first part of grief is the easy part, believe it or not. The second part can be more challenging. Don’t be afraid to pursue the dreams you had before or to try new things. Don’t allowContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Grief’s one-two punch”
The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. -Hubert H. Humphrey Never underestimate how wonderful a good friendship can be during grief. The person who lets you vent because you just have to get things out, or who laughs at the absurd things you find in your lost one’s belongings, or who just shares allContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Friends + Love”
The words of kindness are more healing to a drooping heart than balm or honey. -Sarah Fielding “I am sorry you have to go through this.” “I love you.” “I am here to listen.” “You are so courageous.” Kindness goes a long way in the grief process. For Grief Supporters, kindness can mean the differenceContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Kindness Heals”
The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living. -Marcus Tullius Cicero When a loved one dies, there is a belief that we cannot talk about that person or day-dream about what s/he would think about something in our present reality. By not acknowledging the dead, moving through grief becomes harderContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Memories Bring the Dead to Life”
In short: NO. Grief is not the same for everyone who goes through it. Grief is unique to every Griever. There is no predictable pattern that grief follows from person to person.
Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle. -Napoleon Hill Grief is a constant struggle with emotions, life circumstances, unhelpful Grief Supporters, difficult family members, and missing the loved one. The effort required to slog your way through this period is enormous. Along the way, you will uncover strength you were unaware ofContinue reading “Monday Meditation: Move through Struggle”