“Take the high road. No matter how much strife, and consternation, frustration and anger you may be confronted with–don’t go to that level.”
-Tim Gunn
One of the unexpected challenges of grieving (for me at least) was dealing with grief supporters who, instead of supporting my path, used their time to put down my choices and my grieving process. I tried to take the high road–but I didn’t always succeed. Exhaustion, the need to be understood, and shear shock got in the way. I responded. I reacted. I should have left it alone.
When you’re dealing with a heartbreak like the loss of a loved one, it is extraordinarily difficult not to react to unsolicited criticism from outside sources. Emotions run high after a loss and they are superficial (close to the surface, not irrelevant). One scratch causes profuse emotional bleeding.
The high road seems impossible in the moment. But in the end it is the path that will save you and your sanity. There is no need to stoop to the level of insults that meet you. Stop, gather yourself, release the hurt and the anger in another way (exercise, journaling, meditation, therapy, etc.) and then hit back with Love.
The high road is Love, plain and simple. Give the Love you want to receive to someone even when they may not deserve it. Let grief open your compassion rather than stoke your rage.
The high road is the hardest path you may have to walk; and the climb is worth it.
A.N.Carroll 